"Gone But Still Bossing You Around: The End-of-Life Planner You Didn't Know You Needed"

I know many of you have already lost your parents. I lost my father on May 19, 2023, and that day became a watershed moment for me — one of those life markers that quietly forces you to re-evaluate everything. Now my mother is living with the early stages of dementia. I treasure the moments I still have with her, but I also feel the fear of losing her every single day.

And it’s not just our parents. Lately I’ve started losing classmates, friends, and co‑workers — people my age or even younger. When that starts happening, you can’t help but think about your own mortality. If you’re anything like me, it’s scary, and the instinct is to bury your head in the sand and pretend none of it is happening.

Then I stumbled across a planner online with a title that stopped me in my tracks: “Gone But Still Telling You What To Do.” An end‑of‑life planner. With a title like that, I had to click. And honestly, it might even make my daughter laugh, since she’s accused me more than once of being bossy and still telling her what to do.

I bought it on Amazon, and I was surprised by how many versions of these planners exist. They’re not morbid — they’re practical. They give you prompts, checklists, and ideas to help you start thinking about what needs to be in place long before your loved ones ever have to look for it. It’s not an exhaustive list, and it’s not the only thing you need, but it’s a starting point.

Of course, the next step is the hard one: actually, sitting down with a pen and filling it out. That takes more time, more honesty, and more reflection than simply clicking “add to cart.” But hopefully the inevitable is still far down the road. And if taking the time now makes things easier for the people you love during one of the hardest moments of their lives — well, that’s a gift. One they may not fully appreciate until they’re in the same position someday.

And if you can offer that gift with a little cheekiness and a touch of levity? Why wouldn’t you.